I can't stand bad teeth or facial hair either. However, i've been attracted to plenty of men with gray hair
I don't remember your douch UFC guy, I hear the small penis thing is not so uncommon for them though. I met one of those fighters once(a friend was trying to set me up or something), I went in for the handshake and he had the softest most limp shake ever....total turnoff for me.

I would hold off for this year...bb guns can do a lot of damage (please don't ask me how I know this!). The best idea is for YOU to get one and then as you have time the both of you can take it out to shoot it together and you can give him some supervision with it. The neighbors dog, the bird flying by, a cat walking through the yard, the big window across the street..all too tempting to a boy with a bb gun in hand. I hope you know when he gets to high school all his friends will be lusting after his big sister...